I'm sorry. I should have known better. I am a fool and I understand now.

Recently I've connected with a whole lot of my family from overseas and its been overwhelming and hilarious at the same time.

The family has retained the Fijian - Indian culture (no, for the millionth time - I'm not from India) you know, and that pleases me. And also weirds me out, because I've lost so much of it. I don't enjoy the weddings or the prayer meetings or certain mentalities. I don't dress in saris, I hate gold, and I don't speak Hindi. I started rejecting a part of myself a while ago and now, sometimes, I feel like someone who is looking in and doesn't know if they are invited to the party or even if they would be welcomed. At the same time, I can't quite step away.


I've decided I want to move to Montreal after London. I need to learn some French.

Where in London town is my Marcus Flutie?

Sister.

I'm so happy for you. You are the best person I know and I hope you will be happy in whatever happens in your life.

I'm so grateful that somehow you're in my life and you've influenced it in such a positive way. I miss you. And you can always count on me. I will see you soon.

Love b

I don't know what I'm doing, I'm losing people just as I've met them and I'm in this self imposed cage. I need to break out of this inertia.

On the other hand, small changes are occurring and I only notice these as an afterthought. I have become more careless and this I think that there is something in this. I've haven't quite formed the puzzle yet.

Some days I think, I will enter in the address and find this has all disappeared.
I will be sad when it happens.

I've been listening to the Magnetic Fields again. I finally realised what the lyrics were to "A pretty girl"

you could do time but if you do it right it is sublime "